Find Me Again
by mikmik121
Summary: Domestic AU GerFem!Ita: Alice only wanted to be a mother. But after an accident cripples any chance to have a child of her own, it's up to her husband to try and make her feel better. Feeling completely depressed and unwanted, he takes a chance on something that might make her feel even a little better. Does it work though?


"Alicia..." He opened the door a crack, seeing a girl who he loved so dearly, with a radiant smile and a sparkling personality. "Can you please come out and talk with me about this...?"

"No." Her voice responded in a harsh huff. "Leave me here alone..."

He stepped in, going beside her bed and sitting down. She lay underneath a lump of blankets. She had been staying there for a week now, since she came back from that horrid examination room. "You know I still love you, right?"

"Liar..." Her voice cracked and she turned her face away. "Y-You're gunna leave me...I can't start a family with you...I'm just a useless person..."

He lifted her into his arms, kissing her forehead warmly. Her golden eyes watered up, she hid her face in his shirt to hide as weak cries rolled out. "Alicia, I'm not leaving you...you're such an important person to me, I can't leave you even if I wanted to..."

"I love you too..." She whispered back, gripping onto his shirt lightly. He sighed, brushing her disheveled hair carefully as she cried. "It's not fair Ludwig...I've always wanted to be a mother...it's never going to happen..."

"Don't say that..." He breathed, seeing her obvious pain.

"Infertile." She hissed coldly back, a cry cutting her off once more. "There are no children in our future...! Never...! And even if you didn't show it, you liked the idea too, didn't you...?"

"...yeah. B-But, I'm not leaving." He stuttered, trying not to make his wife feel any worse. "You're such a beautiful...amazing woman...and I won't be leaving your side anytime soon..."

"Burn the nursery..." She whimpered, shutting her eyes. "I...I can't Ludwig..."

He laid her down, shutting her eyes and falling into a depressed sleep. How it hurt to see her so upset. The only thing she wanted, the one thing she wanted with him would never happen. Tucking her carefully in the sheets, he got a crazy idea. It would either end up well or she'd leave in an angered huff. '_I hope this isn't going to be a mistake...'_

* * *

Alicia noticed Ludwig had been out longer than usual. He was strict, always home from work on time and, only recently, cooking for her. '_He probably left me..._' Her mind wandered bitterly. '_No one wants to be around me anymore..._'

The house door opening up interrupted any further thoughts and, when he didn't come into their bedroom, curiosity beat her. Getting lazily out of bed, she started towards the door and to the living room.

"...she sure is going to be surprised..." His voice was calm and low, almost cooing. "...don't worry though...you'll be taken care of..."

"Luddy...?" Turning his head to the side, he saw his wife standing there with a stunned look in her eyes. "W...Who is...that...?"

Shifting completely to look at her, he let one of his rare smiles creep on his face. "Feliciano..." He jounced the sleeping child in his arms lightly to awaken to beautiful, big copper eyes. "He's...well...our son..."

She came over, examining the boy closer. Their eyes connected for a moment, just looking towards one another. Then, the boy smiled and held his arms out with a giggle. Her eyes watered up as she took the baby in her arms, holding her finger out and letting his chubby hands grab at it. "L...Luddy..."

"It's not...the same as our own child...but-"

"I love him." She breathed, tears streaming down her face as he began sleeping in her arms. "Ludwig, I love him..."

He smiled, pulling them under his arm as she wept happily. "Hi Feliciano...he's so precious..."

"It's only for tonight," he interrupted, brushing her cheek. "The people at the adoption center told me that they wanted me to see how he adapts first. I still have paperwork to fill out as well but by next week, he can come home. For good..."

She nodded, bringing her face to his chest. "Did I ever tell you why I was driving to your workplace that day?" Her voice sounded so sad again. "The day the accident took...it away...?"

"Alice...?"

"Ludwig," she breathed heavily, forcing tears to hold behind her eyes for another moment. Her voice quivered as she said the last line that made him understand everything. "Ludwig, I found out we were going to be parents that morning...I was coming over to tell you..."

* * *

A month prior to the current events, Alicia, as said above, found out she was expecting. The couple had been hoping for almost a year and, in her complete excitement about finding out took off to tell her husband at work.

It was very much like her to be so public about matters like this. But she knew that he'd be happy to hear the news they had been waiting so long for. So she drove to his office building, being cautious and careful while whispering to the small life she now carried.

And in an instant, it was all gone. Some idiot smashed into her side of the car in an intersection. She had been watching and waiting for a green light but some person wasn't when they sped at over 70 mph into the side of her vehicle.

When she came to, the most horrible news had come to her. She could never have children and she had lost the one she had been carrying for a few weeks. She hadn't told Ludwig, nor did she want to. The misery she felt, she didn't need to shoulder it on him either.

* * *

"So what's the news about little bro?" Ludwig's younger sister, Julchen, asked leaning closer to him. "I'm your big sister, you gotta tell me before all these lame-o's!"

"Alicia is my little sister! I ought to know before you damnit!" Lovino, Alicia's older brother snapped back. "I swear if you did anything to her you big, muscle-headed idiot-"

"She's fine." He muttered, rolling his blue eyes. "She's been feeling much better recently."

"You need to calm down Lovino." A Spanish man, Antonio (who happened to be Lovino's partner), came up next, wrapping his arms around the man's waist. "Ludwig takes very good care of your sister. You know how upset she's been until recent. Look at how bright the house looks right now. Much different from almost a month ago."

"Lets not talk about it..." He muttered back, his eyes dulling at the thought of his little sister in such depression. "She better be divorcing you..."

"Lovino, that's so mean!" A light voice cried behind him. "Ludwig and I love each other very much!"

"Geez, what is it-"

Everyone turned to see Alicia standing there happily with little Feliciano in her arms. His eyes scanned everyone in the room quickly before clutching to his mother and hiding his face. "You don't need to be shy...they're your new family."

Lovino glared at Ludwig for a moment, holding the usual scorn on his face towards his in-law. "Thank you...damn bastard..." Alicia came over beside the two, holding the boy in her arms with such pride and happiness in her eyes. "So what's his name...?"

"Feliciano." She said back with a smile, holding him off of her. "Say 'hi' to your uncle."

The child beamed, holding his arms out to Lovino. He shyly took the baby into his arms, holding him out as he tried to situate himself better. Antonio 'tsk'-ed and helped Lovino out by showing him how to hold the boy properly. "He won't be very comfortable if you hold him out like that."

"Whatever..." He blushed, lowering his head in embarrassment. "He's really small...and pudgy..."

"Well, of course he is." Antonio stated simply,"he's a little baby."

"He's pretty darn cute." Julchen mused, coming beside them as well. "I can't believe I'm an aunt. And this cutie-pie is my nephew...!"

Feliciano looked over at her, reaching out and taking a lock of her hair in his hand and tugging lightly. "Hey, hey, hey! No tugging on the hair!" She was going to pry his fingers off the long, silver locks from his fingers but quickly thought against it. "Alrighty then...lemme see him."

"No." Lovino stuck his tongue out at her. "I'm not letting you touch him."

Alicia smiled, coming over and picking the boy up. "Don't be such a greedy mister. Jully has the right to hold him too."

Offering the boy to her, she noticed the child yawning in her arms. "Are you tired Feli...? Hold on, I'm just gunna put sleepy-head up for his nap."

Ludwig smiled, following behind her but stopping before entering the hallway. "Don't cause World War Three in here."

When he entered the nursery, Alicia was tucking him in carefully and shutting the blinds to darken the room enough for him to sleep peacefully. "Good night Feli...I love you..."

He came in beside her, resting a hand on her hip and kissing her cheek. "He has a wonderful mother you know..."

"His father has a good head on his shoulders." She purred softly, pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "I love you so much..."

"I love you too..."


End file.
